Friday, February 25, 2005


Maybe I've been watching too much TV, between Bush's European spring break and The Apprentice and the media's little blips of anxiety over what Chris Rock will say at the Oscars. (Funny stuff, I hope.)

So inevitably I began to think about Paris Hilton, because you can't really get away from her, can you? And I realized that the highly overexposed Ms. Hilton does have a tragic secret: she doesn't hire well. Or maybe pay well. In any event, the sad fact of Paris Hilton's life is this: even though she was born into a family that made its fortune in the hospitality business, Paris never figured out how to hire a personal assistant who could...well, keep her video from the Internet, keep track of her dog, or keep her Sidekick locked up and unhacked. If she has "people," and I'm sure she does, they are not doing their jobs.

Should it surprise us? No. Nobody wants to be an assistant anymore, or maybe only as long as it takes to get the dirt to write a tell-all. The service industry as a whole is in terrible shape in this country because nobody wants to, to use the Bob Dylan lyric, "serve somebody." Nobody actually wants to be "an apprentice." They want to be "The Apprentice," which is an entirely different thing. And don't get me started on posses. A posse or an entourage is just a stepping stone to--I don't know, having your own clothing line. Nobody's in the moment. Everybody's just trying to figure out how to get famous--which means that you may not have your eye on the ball--or the Sidekick.


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